Hermana Brewster's Homecoming - Sunday, August 14

In two days, Hermana Brewster will be stepping off the plane from Panama to a waiting family excited to see her. We are so proud of all of her service and her dedication to the people of Panama and her sweet testimony of the gospel. She will probably be a bit more tan than the rest of us (ha - try A LOT darker than the rest of us).

For anyone wanting to hear her report on her mission, Hermana Brewster will be reporting on Sunday, August 14, at the North Canyon 6th Ward at 9 a.m.

We're so excited to welcome her home!

Los mejores 18 meses de mi vida

Dear Family,

Well. Here we are. The last one. I can't tell you how I'm feeling because the emotions seem to be shot up on novocaine at the moment.

This might be the strangest thing to ever be written in a going home email from a missionary, but this past week my greatest lesson came from a Rolling Stones song that popped inexplicably into my head: "You can't always get what you want...but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need."

For weeks and weeks I've been praying that the Lord would let me see a wedding before I go home and I was granted that request--though it's not what you all think. On Saturday I, along with about 8 other missionaries, got to attend the sealing of the Familia Salinas from Santiago, my last area. (In case you don't remember, this is the cute little family that sang "Chiquitita" with Hna. Aguero and me.) They asked special permission from President to have us there in their sealing since neither one of them has family that are members. Among the missionaries that were invited to attend were Hna. Graham, Hna. Aguero and the Robisons, so it was basically one joyous reunion in the temple for the last time. I've never seen anything more beautiful than that sealing. Hna. Kathy was so excited that she said, "¡Si!" several times prematurely in the sealing and it was adorable. They were so happy. Even though they weren't technically "my converts" I felt so blessed and privileged to be there sharing in the experience with them. There were many things I prayed for in the mission that I never got--but the Lord always had some way of blessing me beyond what I thought was capable.

And yesterday...that's when the dam burst. Of course my last Sunday in Panama had to be Fast and Testimony meeting. I was sitting in the back with some recent converts, already feeling emotional and trying to control the tears when one of the brethren got up to bear his testimony and said, "And with the permission of the bishopric, I would like to invite Hna. Brewster to come up and bear her testimony, seeing as this is the last day she'll be here with us. We would love to hear what you have to say." So of course, on that note, I couldn't very well stall any longer. I got up to bear my testimony and within the first minute I was bathing the pulpit in tears. I'm not even sure that what I said was discernible, but I tried to thank the ward for all they had done for me and let them know how much I really loved them and was going to miss them.

It was good I got all the tears out then because what came later on last night would have burst any tear dam wide open. My dear ward members threw me a going away party at the chapel that had me feeling like I was tending my own wedding reception...or funeral. They had Hna. Rodriguez and I sit front and center and several people took turns sharing words of gratitude, advice and love. Among those who spoke were Hna. Francia, Hna. Maritza and several people who had known me since my first day in La Dos Mil almost 18 months ago. ("When Hna. Brewster started her mission here, she didn't understand anything we were saying and now she understands PERFECTLY!") Hna. Francia broke down into tears thanking me for everything I did in helping their family grow in the gospel and that she wished I could be there for her wedding and baptism, but that the Lord would allow me to be there in spirit. Hna. Maritza said she thanked the Lord for answering her prayers and sending two angels to her door with the message of the gospel. She also said she'd miss my "celestial singing." Several ward members presented gifts (which I'll be able to show you soon) and there were a couple of special musical numbers by the primary kids who sang "We'll bring the world his truth" and the Familia Sanchez (with whom we eat lunch every day) who sang "God be with you til we meet again" with the rest of the ward helping out to sing the chorus.

You can imagine how absolutely overwhelmed I was. I'm still in shock over all of it. I kept thinking to myself, "Who's this Hna. Brewster they're talking about? Surely it can't be me. I don't deserve this." The truth is that the greatest lesson I learned on the mission is that the Lord really is at the helm of everything. He really does all the work but he lets us feel like we had a hand in it. I always thought that at the end of my mission I'd feel so proud of myself, so accomplished. Really though, I can't take any of the credit because it was the Lord that carried me every step of the way, despite my flaws, my weaknesses and imperfections, he let me be an instrument in his work. I am so very grateful for this mission and for the incredible lessons I've learned in such a short space of time.

Por lo bonito, lo feo, lo bueno y lo malo, estoy sumamente agradecida. Sé que esta es la Iglesia verdadera y que mi Salvador vive. Esta es su obra y El la dirige. Hay tantas bendiciones que nos esperan si solo ponemos nuestra confianza en El y seguimos fieles hasta el fin. Dios realmente no ha cesado de ser un Dios de milagros y yo sé que el nos ama y quiere que seamos felices. Mi mision es la evidencia de que la imposible is posible con la ayuda del Señor.

Thank you all SO MUCH for your prayers and your never ending support and love that you've given me this past year and a half. I can't believe it's over, but I'm so excited to finally be able to tell you all about it in person. I'll try to do my best, but just remember--my eenglish no es so good. Be patient with me.

I love you all and I'll see you THURSDAY!

Viva la hermana Brewster!!!

love,
Hna. Allison Brewster

The true miracle

Hola mi querida familia,

I know you are all anxiously anticipating the news: Did the family get married and baptized? Well....I hate to let you all down, but...no. We're still waiting for the paperwork to come through. HOWEVER...I want you all to know that your thoughts and prayers haven't been in vain.

I had a knot in my chest all last week, stressing about this marriage and the baptism I want so badly to see before I come home. I kept thinking over and over again, "What am I doing? What am I not doing? What do I need to do to be worthy of this miracle I'm praying for?" I'll admit that at times I felt the Lord was simply chastening me. After all, I'd received several blessings up to this point, so who's to say I deserved this? By the time Wednesday rolled around and we still didn't have the papers, I honestly started to doubt I'd be here to see Francia and her kids get baptized and I was feeling very sorry for myself. We continued to visit Fam. Barria daily and one night, after I had come to grips with the fact that my "miracle" might not occur, we were talking one on one with Hna. Francia about what's she's learned from her personal scripture study and attending church these past few weeks. She opened up her "Gospel Principles" manual and started sharing with us what she had learned about faith--that it was really something that required patience, effort and enduring. She told us that her faith had grown so much over the past couple of months and that she couldn't fathom the idea of missing church even one Sunday. She also said she had hopes that some day all of her children and her husband would be faithful members of the church. She then looked us in the eyes and said, "Hermanas, I know this is the true church." I just sat and stared at her in dumbfounded silence. This was not the same Francia I met a year ago--or even 3 months ago. She'd been changed completely by her personal conversion to the gospel. And that's when it hit me. I could almost hear the voice in my head say, "All this time you've been praying for a miracle. Isn't this what you wanted?" I guess I always thought that seeing her be baptized was what I wanted, but I realize now that it doesn't really matter whether I'm here or not when that happens. She's going to be baptized. She's already converted. So...I leave it all in the hands of the Lord at this point. Really, I think that's the biggest thing this mission has taught me. What I think I want or hope to achieve is nothing compared to what the Lord has planned and is capable of doing. Just the instrument!

I wasn't going to mention the fact that this is my last week, but...we're all pretty aware of that, aren't we? I feel like I'm staring two separate emotions in the face: 1) extreme happiness about seeing you all again and 2) heartache. At any given second, I could go either way.

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, for your love and constant thoughts and words of encouragement. We're not done yet, so keep 'em coming this week! :)

love you all,

Hna. Brewster

Wishin' and hopin' and thinkin' and prayin'

Dear Family,

You know in those movies when someone is disarming a bomb and right when the counter is on "0:01" it stops? I have found that my mission is similar. Stress, stress, stress, stress, RELIEF. This describes pretty well what went down this past week.
As you all well know, the focus object of the final weeks of the mission has been and continues to be: "Get the Familia Barria married and baptized." I mentioned in the last letter that Elias, their 13-year-old son, wanted to be baptized this Sunday, the 24th, because he wanted to have his own special day apart from his mom and sisters. At first I was opposed to that idea until I realized that it might be just what we needed to help his younger sisters and his mom get more excited about the prospect of their own baptism. So when Francia (the mom) consented, we made sure to work really hard with Elias all week long to make sure he was ready for this step. On Friday the elders came to do the interview and Elder Euceda, my district leader, just about gave me a heart attack when he came out of the interview and told me Elias wasn't going to be baptized. Upon seeing the shock on my face, that was followed quickly with, "Just kidding!" and I was able to breathe again. I still have a small desire to punch Elder Euceda, though.
The baptism was scheduled for Sunday morning, so we got up at the crack of dawn to go fill the font as usual, making sure we left plenty of time to go pick up the Fam. Barria before the service started. As luck would have it, their relatives had stopped in by surprise in the middle of the night (gotta love those Panamanians) and Hna.Francia was frantically trying to cook them breakfast when we showed up. I tried to persuade her that seeing her son's baptism was of much greater importance than a few corn tortillas and she agreed. She just needed a few moments to get ready, so we offered to accompany Elias to the chapel so he could get ready while she finished up getting prepared, the idea being that she would be just 5 minutes or so behind us. Well, we got to the church and had everything ready to go, but by 8:15 Francia still hadn't shown up and the bishop was starting to get antsy about the time. I figured we could start out with the hymn and such to stall a little. By the time we finished the hymn and the first speaker was giving his short little talk, Hna. Francia still hadn't shown up. Not thinking I could live with myself if we baptized her son without her there, I was praying she'd get there, meanwhile the bishop was stressing me out with his constant glances at his watch. The time came for the baptism and Juan, our 2nd counselor who was perfoming the baptism, asked where Elias' mom was. I ran outside the chapel to see if by any chance she was close by and much to my everlasting relief, Francia and Michelle, her youngest daughter, were walking up the steps. "0:01" left on the clock.
She shed some tears when Elias was baptized and told us she felt something cool come over her. I know she's ready for her own baptism. We are just praying with all of our might that we somehow get a very kind judge this week who'll consent to do the marriage on Friday in time for a baptism this weekend, as we had originally planned. I don't know why, but I get the feeling that this one's going to come down right to the wire. Sometimes I wonder if the Lord doesn't just find it amusing to watch me fret...
So. There were are. In 2 weeks' time I expect to have some great stories to tell you all in person. In the meantime, keep praying please.

Love you all,
Hna. Brewster

p.s. I used a machete for the first time this week. Just so you all know. Quite proud.

Gettin' married in Panama

Dear Family,

Admit it. The subject line had you curious. "´´ Getting married in Panama´.....is she serious?" Well, I am. But I am not referring to myself. I refer to the fact that the family I mentioned in my last letter, la flia. Barría, is currently in the process of getting married so that we can go through with Hna. Francia's baptism this month. Yes, that's right. SHE HAS A BAPTISMAL DATE! She's been coming to church and yesterday she brought her son Elias with her, so we are definitely shooting for a July baptism. It was originally for the 24th but I think it'll end up being the 31st because getting people married is a pain in Panama. A PAIN. We made a run to the courthouse this morning to figure out exactly what we need to put together to get this marriage finalized ASAP. I have already made up my mind that I will not leave Panama until Hna. Francia is confirmed a member of the church. It's my dying wish, really. So please, if you could, include her and her family in your prayers. Really, for me this would be the miracle I've been looking for my whole mission long.

Just one month left and far from being trunky I am working twice as hard as I ever worked before. I think I'll be crawling off that plane because I plan to have nothing left at the end of all of this. My ¨hija¨ Hna. Rodriguez is learning fast and I'm doing my best to help her learn to enjoy the mission and work hard. It's kind of funny being at this point and be able to see the two different perspectives: the newbie and the oldie. When I think about all that's ahead of her it just makes me smile, really. She's in for a while ride but it's going to be the time of her life.

Last night we had a somewhat frustrating lesson with Jeannette's dad (the girl who got baptized two weeks ago). He's a very learned man who knows the Bible in and out, so you can imagine it wasn't easy trying to get him to accept that God had MORE to say. I've dealt with doubtful, combative people my whole mission long and yet I still fail to comprehend why people don't want to accept the gospel. It's almost like they try to disprove it. For me, I like the fact that there are so many promises for blessings beyond our wildest dreams and I choose to believe in it because it makes me happier and makes life more fulfilling. But...agency. There's that word again. Cursed double edged sword...

Anywho, I won't have much of a nose left by the end of all of this since I'm sticking it to that grindstone and all, but I will have some good things to tell you all. I'm sure of it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BEN, RYAN AND ANNIE THIS WEEK! (and the rest of the family, pretty much...)

love you,
Hna. Brewster

Someone Outta Open Up the Window!

Hey Fam,

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! I am almost American again, so maybe we'll hold a late celebration when I get back. I am wearing a red shirt today and I listened to MoTab's "God Bless America" this morning, so that's about as patriotic as I can be here in my dear Panama... Hope you're all enjoying the festivities--not to mention the freedoms.

So! Big news. I am now the proud parent of Hna. Rodriguez from Guatemala. That's right--I have another greenie! Looks like they don't want me to die in peace on the mission, and let me tell you that I definitely will not. We are working harder than I have worked my whole mission long. My comp is a sweetheart but a tad on the shy side, so the goal right now is to help her get used to the mission and feel comfortable enough to come out of her shell. It's poetic, really--I started my mission as a greenie in this area and now I'm ending it as a trainer in the same area. It's definitely given me the opporunity to chart my progress and growth as a missionary. I try to assure Hna. Rodriguez that it does get easier with time--and a whoooooooole lot of practice. Heck, let´s face it, I'm still learning.

I think the most exciting news I have to tell you all is that one of our investigators, Hna. Francia, whom I have taught since the first time I was in this area CAME TO CHURCH yesterday. Not only that, she showed up in a dress, stayed for all three hours AND at the end of Relief Society she asked me to help her pay tithing. I was in absolute shock. You just never know when the Lord's going to surprise you with those curveball blessings. I haven't told you all how much we've prayed and fasted for Francia's family, but suffice it to say it's been quite a long road. As President Monson would say, "Tears were shed. Hugs were given." We just need to make sure her marriage gets legalized pronto so that I can see her get baptized before I leave. Please, please, please pray for her. It's a funny thing...I find that answers to my prayers seem to have a slight delay but they do eventually arrive. Just like the letters from friends I occasionally get in the mail :).

Anyway, we're putting the narices to the grindstone. i hope to have some great news for you next week as well.

love you all and Happy 4th! And happy birthday Hilary, too!

love,
Hna. Brewster

And the people all said sit down, sit down you're rockin' the boat

Dear Family,

Welp, today makes 17 months for me in the mission. WOW. The other day someone asked me how much time I had left. Without thinking about it, I responded, "7 weeks." Then my jaw dropped open. 7 WEEKS??? I was in a moment of brief shock after that. Actually, I think I'm still there. I didn't sleep too well last night. There´s just way too much to think about these days.

Don't worry, though. I am staying focused and working my tail off. We have some great investigators (most of which are references from ward members, which is amazing) whom we´re working with that I feel confident will be baptized in July. It's going to be quite a wild ride to the finish line. We're already in the last week of the transfer which means that next week I´ll be receiving my final companion of the mission. The ZL´s called me last night to ask if I wanted to train again...I told them that if the Lord wants that, I'll do it. But I'm not going to ask for it. It would definitely keep me on my toes, though, so it might be good. We'll see what happens! I'll miss Hna. Ubeda, though. She's super chill and unfailingly positive. If I'm walking around in a brooding mood because of a bad day with fallen appointments and lots of rain, she's right next to me whistling and saying, "I just feel so happy today and I don't know why!" She's a funny kid.

We went with the Elders to teach two young gals who're getting baptized this week in their area. Their names are Yashaika (14) and Carolina (17). Carolina is a single mom. The Elders wanted us to talk to them about modesty because we're sisters and they felt weird about doing it. Well I felt pretty weird too when we were trying to teach her while she breastfed her baby in front of us and the elders. I know it's a part of the culture here but it still is on my "not okay" list. Don't think that's something from Panama I'll adopt. An awkward situation to say the least.

So...that's all I've got for now. Hope you all have a fantastic week and that Hilary and the kids are feeling better!

love you all,

Hna. Brewster